What goes up, must come down...aka..Women will be the death of me

Apparently, the Prototype and I have not been dating these last 3 weeks or so. Instead, we're just friends...Yeah, I'm also not living on the same planet as her. When she told me this (because I asked about it), I was shocked. I mean, "friends" don't walk down the street holding hands and exchanging innocent kisses. When I told her that, she suggested that she does that more because I want to than because she wants to...

...At first, I was extremely disappointed to hear that and it showed. She told me not to "be sad" about it, that she wants to take things "slow". To me, though, "taking things slow" suggests an inevitable progression somewhere; somewhere more than just friendship. Otherwise, she could just say, "let's be friends" and that would be that. But later, after I had some time to think about it, I started to become a little bit angry about the whole affair. I mean, we would not be here today if SHE had not initiated physical intimacy. She's the one that kissed me first, she's the one that grabbed my hand. I have been going with that for awhile, but to suggest she wasn't a full participant in our budding courtship (or so I thought it was) is just dishonest and disingenuous - two things that she is definitively not.

So, on the one hand, I'm frustrated and disappointed, but on the other I'm a bit angry about it all. I was perfectly willing to walk away from the whole relationship possibility about a month ago, but she put me back into that frame of reference. Anyway, I'm giving up. I'm no longer pursuing her. When we say goodbye, it's hugs, not kisses. I'm not going after it anymore. If she wants to transition from friendship to something more, I'll be over the moon about that. But I can't be strung about emotionally just because she's incredibly well matched to my personality. Even the greatest matches sometimes never work out.

Of course, hand in hand with this realization is that I've missed out on two opportunities in the last week to pursue other women. Now, neither one of them was really what I was looking for, but still, I could have gone out on a proper date and that wouldn't have been such a bad thing.

In the end, this is just yet another sad detail in my historically bad luck with women. It's my impression that very few people could be as chronically inept when it comes to the fairer sex than me. I suppose I should be used to it by now after all these years of abject failure, but I'm not. While I still keep the faith that I'll meet the right person someday and things will click, I'm Fing tired of not having what I want and I am not a patient man. The clock is ticking on this country as well. I have 10 months of Visa time left. If I'm to start a real relationship, it needs to start soon or my imminent departure will be an issue - just as it was in the States. Then again, maybe it's just best that I focus on school and work and not even try with women. I came here to get a degree, not fall in love.

Re: Patriots

It's absurd to suggest that a crappy field is fair because it effects both teams equally. The Pats are a run first team. The Colts are a pass happy team. Crappy fields hurt speedy receivers, not bruising running backs. They know that which is why they left the field uncovered. To me, that's pretty much cheating.

Re: Health Care

Sorry, I'm a bit of a capitalist at heart. Free markets work, although they do need regulation. Competition good. The whole health care is a right debate is worthy for discussion, but absent that, I'd like the markets to control things - not government.