Temp-cation, Thesis, Eurotrash, and Ms. Colombia

Temp-Cation (n): Training received in the art of Temping for a living.

I got my Temp-cation at GDC. My tutor was Sensei; my classmates were Broadway, Metro, and (since I've forgotten) Mouth 1 and Mouth 2. There are a number of lessons learned when you get a temp-cation. Here are the most important ones:

1. Look like you're busy at all times - You could be doing nothing, spacing off, whatever. That's not the point. The point is, always look like you're busy, you know what you're doing, and it would be trouble for anyone to interrupt your effort. Keys to this include: walking fast, focusing intently on your computer screen, and walking with a pencil or pen in your hand (as if you were so busy you didn't even have time to put it down). Benefits of this include: less bother from people looking to give you worthless tasks and impressing those that sign your timesheets.

2. Pace yourself - This one is critical for two reasons: mental stability and financial gain. Temp paralegal work, in short, is enough to drive the most stable, totally Real World. (Love how she's being suddenly used as an adjective.) Therefore, you need frequent breaks to maintain a sense of coherence. Firms (mostly) understand this and won't have a problem with you taking breaks as long as they are not too long and the work gets done. The best firms will tell you to take breaks and will pay you for them. Other firms will not say anything about breaks, but will sign your timesheets knowing that you took breaks and they're paying for it. You're not working the system. One is just open; the other is just a "wink wink, nudge nudge," kind of arrangement.

The other aspect of pacing is that you never want to finish up a project too soon. That means you'll be out on the street. As a temp, you are a mercenary. There is no other way around it. So, if you work too diligently, you'll be out of a job. Prolong the work, prolong the pay. That's the system, that's the game. Now, of course if there is a deadline, work your tail off. If you can't get the work done on time, then you're of no use to anyone and you'll be on the street. But first and foremost, your mind must be set on maximizing your benefits while in the Temp System, which means taking things slow, being productive, working diligently, but always keeping an eye out on how much money you can make.

3. Make a good impression early - If you bank a good reputation, you get away with more later. So, make yourself as indispensable as a temp can be (limited at best or you wouldn't be a temp anymore). That means that you have to be "Johnny on the spot" at a good moment when someone who's been there longer than you (and is dumber than you) is uncertain about something, you make the decisions. Hopefully, you make the right call, otherwise you'll look like a moron. But, as this type of work is not overly complicated, odds are, unless you're a total re-re, you'll be fine. After that, you'll be known as "the guy that sorted out that problem that a trained chimpanzee could have fixed but we were fresh out of monkey butlers so we had to depend on a temp".

Anyway, I work at one of the world's biggest law firms. They earned almost a billion dollars in revenue last year. It's giant and I'm in their head office here in London. That means that not only can I get lost in the anoniminity of it all, but there's lots of places to go on "legitimate" business (storerooms, copy rooms, bathrooms, lunchrooms, etc). Plus, I'm good at implementing the basic Temp Rules (there are more, that's just the quick and dirty survival keys) and I'm good at the work because I have high attention to detail. That makes me just a bit more talented than your average monkey butler (at least I don't throw feces at the walls and the partners). Fortunately, I got an A in my Temp-Cation.

Thesis

As I am dating one the most organized people on the planet, I have been forced to quantify my completion percentage. I figure that I'm about 35% written. That's about 5500 words so far. It could be above 15,000, but I don't really know. I don't have much time to work on it during the week, so the weekends are the money zone. I'm dedicating this weekend to getting a draft completed. That's a lot of work, but I've reached the stage where the writing comes easy. It's just a matter of time put in. The sooner I'm done, the better.

Eurotrash

As long predicted, Eurotrash and his girlfriend The Immature Sophisticate, are no more. I am saddened by this because I saw it coming and there was nothing that could be done. He committed himself to this course and even though there were tons of warning signs, he was blinded by love and couldn't see it. (I think we've all been there.) He's quite sad about it all and since the way it ended was very, very bad (her cheating then phoning and breaking up on the phone), it's going to take him awhile to get over it. Fortunately, he's a sensible bloke and he is in the process of reclaiming himself (dying his hair, getting a tattoo - things he's wanted to do but didn't because of her). Still, I feel sad for him. He deserves better.

Ms. Colombia

I haven't written a ton about Ms. Colombia in this space, but I haven't written much in this space for awhile either. In short, she's such an amusing little woman. She's so organized. She has budgets for a year in advance. Everything she does is on time, on schedule, and carefully regulated. She gets up early and goes to bed late. Houston, we have a problem.

Actually, it's not much of a problem. I get up very early on weekdays now (that's Temp-Cation) so that I can get to work early. Weekends, I like to sleep in a bit, but when you're usually waking at 7, sleeping to 9 feels like a holiday. So we're managing that one. I just have to be a little more organized with the belongings. I like to put things down, even if they're cluttered. That's not Ms. Colombia's way. No, no, no. Things need to be neat and orderly and things need to have proper places. Precariously perching a book on top of a stack of papers on top of a stool isn't good planning - even if it works for me.

Anyway, the more time I've spent with her, the more inseparable we've become. We've had mini-fights, we've had tender moments - the point is, we're growing and I can't tell you how great that feels. I spent most of the last year dating random women here and there and never having a genuine growth opportunity that included someone else. Sure, there was solo growth, but I'd had my fill. Then, without warning, I found myself a Colombiana who just so happens to be very well suited to my interests and vice versa.

Of course, the side effect of now being happily committed is that there are numerous opportunities presenting themselves every day. That's the system, but it doesn't make it any better. Where were all these available women when I was single? Why is it that now that I'm distinctly not single (and not interested in being single) that I have a wealth of possibilities at my disposal? I'm not complaining - well, I am a bit, but not for my circumstances. It's just another example of why the system is silly.

Ok, rambling on, cutting to the chase: We're going to Venice in October, maybe traveling in November (dodgy visa issues for her), Chicago in mid-November (to meet her Mother and step-Dad), Washington, DC at Thanksgiving. Then, she goes back to Bogota, I stay in DC until March. I earn enough money to live in Colombia and move there. We stay no longer than December 2006, although if I get into a PhD program, I'll be headed back to the States in August 06. Life's getting planned and sorted.