F the GRE

I've spent probably 10 hours a day studying for the GRE over the last week. Before that I probably devoted a minimum of 2 hours a day for a month. I've been carrying little flashcards of words to memorize for 3 months. And after all that, I got the EXACT same score that I got 6 years ago.

What does that score mean: Not much. The ratio was different. Better verbal this time, worse math. Which is more evidence that anyone would ever need to demonstrate that the GRE (and its ilk) mean less than zero. I didn't do as well on the math this time around for one reason: I couldn't get a GRE General Math practice book like I had last time. Does that mean I have a lower aptitude for Math? Nope. It just means I didn't get enough practice honing up my Geometry and Algebra II/Trig skills - which I might add, I'm never going to need again unless I have a child that needs help with their homework. I'm certainly not going to use all that bullshit in my PhD program (assuming I'm fortunate enough to be admitted).

In fact, this whole thing just pisses me off. Not only was it a great deal of work and effort to achieve the exact same score, but the thought that an inability to figure out crappy analogies or the appropriate opposite to words that I knew the definition of or the area of two slivers of a circle when I was running out of time...you get the point....the fact that that kind of bullshit could keep me out of my preferred PhD program is just infuriating. Is the ability to figure out the following analogy an accurate predictor of an individual's ability to graduate level work?

Cock is to balls as Suck is to...

No I'm not bitter. I just forked over $170 (plus the cost of 2 practice books, weeks of study, and a half day of my life that I'll never get back) because someone, somewhere convinced admissions boards that bullshit tests were an appropriate measure of an individuals inherent abilities.

Here's an idea ETS fuckwags: The 90s saw this wonderful invention of something called the Internets. On the Internets there is a webpage called www.dictionary.com. If I need to know what a word means, I'll go there. If I want a synonym or antonym, I'll go there. And, if I want to know how to figure out the area of a 4 slivers of a circle, I'll call my friend Matthew and he'll tell me.

So please, ETS, if you're reading this, please go fuck yourself. Now. Do not delay. Immediately. I'm serious. Fuck. Yourself. And when you're done. Die. May the stock market crash take you with it and all of your ilk too. You deserve nothing less.