Weekend Recap

Saturday

My Spanish friend Adrianna was having a birthday party (for herself) at her place on Saturday night and I was invited. I hadn't hung out with her or her Colombian roommate Fabian in a long time and as they only live 10 minutes walking away, I immediately accepted the invitation. Many people showed up and we had a blast. There were Colombians from school that I did not expect to see, as well as a random group of various Europeans. Good fun. Of course, salsa dancing was inevitable and I was pleased about that. My friend from school Maria (also Colombian) patiently gave me further lessons and told me that I had done well. A little more practice and I'll probably be ready for the big time. You can always tell who is good or not, so I make no claims that I'm an expert. But Smooth Like Butta' is not as good as he thinks he is and I must try to show him up!

Anyway, I ended up leaving at about 4. The party was still going strong but I needed to get home. I had school work to do and I was to see Miss Colombia as well and wanted to be rested. Good times.

Sunday

I spent several hours doing school work for today's presentation . Also, Fabian gave me some pictures from Colombia to use in my presentation on Thursday. I'm writing a "national security briefing memo" about the FARC and narco-terrorism in Colombia. Very interesting stuff and once Fabian found out, he insisted that he burn some pics to a disc for me. He father was in the Colombian military so I have some amazing photos to intersperse with my presentation.

I met up with Miss Colombia around 5. We had a great time, as usual. I really get along well with her and even with some language difficulties, we've bonded quite quickly. Still, it may not work out and we're both cognizant of that. She's coming out of a fairly intense relationship that she ended and she just doesn't want to get into something new right now. Not only does she think that she needs some time for herself (to renew herself, if you will), but also she doesn't want me to be a rebound (and nor do I want to be that either).

There is no real solution to the problem of poor timing aside from keeping things slow and seeing what happens. She's very distraught about life right now and the best that I can do is tell her to focus on herself and just be a good friend. Friendship is the foundation for all good relationships, so I'm happy to play that role (although there is a bit more than friendship involved). In many ways, she and I are very alike and our reasons for moving to London are very much the same. The last thing I would want to be is an impediment on her personal growth so I'm committed to the slow approach. Of course, it's something that is probably ideal for me anyway given my inclination to rush into things these days (see the Absurd Incident of the So-Called Prototype).

In the end, I know I'm going to learn from her and grow with her no matter if we share a simple friendship or something more. I will of course be disappointed if we don't get a chance for more, but I'm absolutely delighted to have met her and gotten to know her even still. Frankly, she's utterly fantastic and whomever she ends up with will be incredibly lucky. We're going to a party together on Friday.

All of this needs to be placed in the context of the Artist Formerly Known as the Prototype, aka, Miss Colorado (because that's where she's from and I'm about spent creatively). I've been aware that the whole situation with her was a colossal failure on my part, but it's not something that is entirely my fault. I got played. I understand that. But a true prototype would never have played with my emotions, led me on, only to turn away and hide behind the excuse that she may be leaving the country and she doesn't want to get involved - when the truth is that I'm just not her type (or something like that). And this is the thing, Miss Colombia told me straight away (even though it was hard for her), that as much as she likes me, she doesn't know what she can give me right now because of her recent history. I respect her honesty and it's in glaring contrast to Miss Colorado.

The Roving Alcoholic, who met Miss Colorado on Friday, made an interesting point today and that is that she seemed very superficial. I was thinking about that over the weekend and maybe it's not just superficial, maybe it's materialism. I mean, ostensibly she's moving back to Colorado because she wants a nice flat, a Saab, and a good job. I understand all those motivations (ok, not the Saab, that's for wanna-be Yuppies), but when your stated goal is to have an international career and you give up because you haven't gotten anywhere in three months and you're dissatisfied with your lifestyle, well, I guess I just wouldn't want to be with someone like that. Is giving it six more months until your visa runs out really that much to sacrifice? To me that appears to replicate the mistakes that she's made in the past (and that I've certainly made as well) and I find it very difficult to respect her choice.

This is not to say that we did not have good chemistry or that I wasn't attracted to her. Certainly we get along great, we bonded fairly quickly, and I wanted things to go places. But after having time to reflect on it all and having a clear contrast with Miss Colombia, well, sorry, but Miss Colorado just doesn't add up. I erroneously elevated her to a level she didn't deserve because I was ecstatic that I found someone I was actually interested in. The challenge, of course, is to maintain a sense of objectivity and really look for the qualities that I demand and value. To ignore glaring incompatibility is to risk heartbreak in the long run and I should know better. When it comes down to it, Miss Colorado had two of the three critical criteria: physical and mental. But her emotional side is stunted and immature and I've learned not to settle for second best. I want all three or nothing at all.

Anyway, I've been kind of inadvertently dodging her for the past couple weeks and I think she's displeased about that. It's not really my fault as I've been entirely too busy and I'm trying to meet other women and whatnot. But I have to confess, I've been less interested in being with her because I'm a bit angry and a bit hurt that she just couldn't be honest with me. Not being honest is ultimately quite disrespectful and it's a "no fly zone" for me. Integrity and honesty are the most important things to me, so I take it quite hard when someone is less than honest. Still, I'll probably get together with her sometime later this week or at least chat on the phone. I do enjoy conversing with her at the least.

This week is going to be oh so chock full of stories. I have two presentations and a paper this week with another paper due a week from today. This quarter is murdering me. Too much day to day work for my liking. But it is what it is and I've got to get back at it.