Rant it up

Right - Another great perversion of American patriotism is underway, this time in the Southwest, Arizona and New Mexico, I believe. In case you haven't heard, allow me to describe the assininity that is currently being conducted in the name of country, flag, and God.

There is a sizeable number of "patriots" that are taking it upon themselves to police the US-Mexico border in a particularly harsh area of desert that sees frequent illegal border crossings. While watching the news the other night, I heard one such "patriot" (typically with a beer belly, American flag doo rag, and shotgun to go with his beard and shades) claim that they're trying to "stop the invasion of illegals from Mexico". Because, as we all know, there's this giant conspiracy to turn the homogeneous American population into Mexico-junior and all. So, thankfully these folks are staking out a portion of the border, armed and ready to defend America proper.

I have many problems with this, but perhaps the greatest is, when did gigantor's armed with beer bellies, foul language, and in some cases actual firearms all draped in the cloth of the Stars and Stripes earn the right to speak for me? I mean, it's not like any of us came from anywhere except good ole' US of A, right? I find the anti-immigration crowd to be so absurd. The US is a nation founded by foreigners, dominated by foreigners, and most importantly, a model to the world (excluding George Bush) because of the way we integrated a vast array of foreign cultures, languages, and living habits into our society. To now suggest that we shouldn't let anyone in, specially them illegal Mexicanos, is laughably hypocritical. And when Johnny Wanna Be Law steps up with his licensed shotgun and bad attitude acting like he's Lady Liberty, well, he can basically piss off. The Border Patrol has a job to do - an unenviable one, but they do it anyway. The last thing they need is a bunch of wildcard gringo's stirring it up in the desert, a ploy that has done little more than drive illegals around their watchful eyes.

Ok, I feel better now. That whole "invasion" line just totally pissed me off, especially since I was watching it on BBC and it's jackasses like that that give American's a bad name overseas. Immigration is a public policy issue that should be addressed, but in the public eye is often (always) a race to the bottom. I blame everyone.

Anyway, today, instead of spending most of my day on schoolwork (which would have been sensible in some ways and insane in others), I spent my day with Miss Colombia. I really like this woman, but I'm not sure if it's going to work or not. I'll say is up front that she really likes me and that she wants to keep seeing me, but it's more complicated than that (even though it SHOULDN'T be - but it wouldn't be "the story of my life" without complications). I'm jumping ahead.

We met up in Knightsbridge. She had English class in the AM and had to work at 6, so we went to lunch at Wagamama's. I met her at her bus, which she totally appreciated, and received a warm hug. A start. I had decided to be a bit more aggressive this time around because I wanted her to know that I was interested in more than just another Colombian friend and because I wanted to engage in the minor pleasure of holding her hand and whatnot (I'm a total sap and I admit it). She probably knew already, but it was the right thing to do.

At lunch, she told me about the complication. I won't go into extensive detail since what she told me was said in confidence, but the gist of it is that she broke up with another guy relatively recently, she's still kind of seeing him because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings even though she doesn't want to date him anymore, and she's conflicted about seeing me because she doesn't want to have to explain me to him. Yeah. This is what you get when you're too damn nice. We talked about it for a long time and it was a really good conversation. She was very nervous about it but she was totally honest and I made sure that she knew that I appreciated it.

In the end I told her that now is the time for her to focus on her. If she wants to see him because that's what she wants, then she should do that. If she wants to see me because that's what she wants then she should do that. And, with some reluctance, I told her if she didn't want to see me or him because she felt that she needed to take care of herself, then that's what she should do. Ultimately, I care about this woman already. And I can see how conflicted she is between meeting someone she really likes and not wanting to hurt someone she loved for a time but doesn't anymore. (I won't even get started on him - just know that I have a very low opinion of him already.) He's planning on leaving in 6 weeks time back to Brazil, so she's thinking that if we continue to see each other and take things slow, she won't have to deal with the problem. Much like the Two Bobs, "that will fix the glitch." (Office Space reference.)

I don't know. I mean, I was very honest with her. I told her that I have no problem taking things slow and in fact, that's probably the best idea for me ever given my history. But it can't be ponderous and nor can I just hang around waiting for her because at the end of 6 weeks she may not want to be with me anyway and that would have been a huge waste of time.

The really frustrating thing about this one is that, much like the Prototype (who desperately needs a new nickname), Miss Colombia has what I'm after in spades. This, I believe, would be woman number 3 in my illustrious 30 years on planet Earth. She's smart, she's funny, she's honest and caring, she's engaging, she's quirky, etc, etc, etc. I could go on for weeks, but that's not the point. The point is, and this is what I told her when she asked, "what is it that you want?", I've met a nice woman who I genuinely like and could see myself with. I'd like the opportunity to get to know her, to bond with her, and see what the possibilities are. Of course, just like the Prototype, she has a flaw that is impeding our ability to proceed normally.

Such is life. I'm seeing her again on either Saturday or Sunday. She's going to text me tonight after work and we'll make some plans. I wish I could see her both days but I don't think that's going to be feasible with my school work (and probably not sensible given our "go slow approach"). I have been stressing majorly this week because I am WAY behind. I have a paper and two presentations due next week that I haven't even started. It's not as bad as it seems (because the paper is only like 1200 words and one of the presentations is on something I'm intimately familiar with), but this is just not the way I like to do things. So I need to get my ass in gear, stop surfing the web for Spanish-English phrases and translations, and get the research done that needs doing. Cheerio.