Friday, April 22, 2005

We've moved to warm!

Finally, after several days, we've moved from artic showers to warm showers even bordering on hot. We're supposed to be back up to full hot showers by the evening. There is much rejoicing.

I've been in a pretty good mood of late. The improving weather certainly helps, but I've also had a slight attitude shift that I think is quite positive. No longer am I really looking for a relationship. In fact, right now, I don't want one. I'd be happy to go out with a nice girl or two, but anything resembling commitment seems like a bad idea at this time. My life is ultimately in transit and I'm not wanting to be tied down in any way. Not only that, I don't feel like I'm ready to give myself to anyone else because I'm still deciding who I am and what I want. Identity in transition + serious relationship = bad idea jeans.

Instead, I want to focus on school and travel - those are my priorities. Since making that not-so-startling revelation, my outlook has improved greatly. Of course it helps that I've been very successful at school of late and there is certainly a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment that goes with getting a lot of work done up to my "usual standard" as one of my professors recently stated.

That being said, I'm not exactly removing myself from the system. I'm still interested in meeting people, going out, having fun etc. There is definitely a learning process to meeting people from different backgrounds and experiences and at this point, I'd have to say that I'm more interested in that than anything. I'm in London for crying out loud. One of the best things about this city is that you can meet people from all over the world, connect with them, learn from them, at the same time that they're learning from you. Of course, if I happen to meet a nice British lass, my calculus may change. But as of now, I'm not interested in the endless pursuit of phone numbers, hook ups, and ultimately love.

At any rate, all of this comes on the heels of Miss Colorado leaving the country for good. That happens tomorrow. We went out for drinks on Wednesday night and had a good time. I'm certainly sad to see her go, but at the same time, I have more understanding about why she's doing it and why it makes sense. I think my previous comments about that were overly harsh, mainly because she hadn't fully explained her motivation. Now I understand that she's not "fleeing" the country or giving up on a dream, instead, she has a really good job opportunity in Colorado Springs that she basically can't turn down. If she had a similar opportunity here, she would have stayed, but when opportunity knocks, you answer the door and that's what she's doing. She's sad to leave, which is somewhat surprising, but it was interesting to hear her thoughts on the matter because I'm sure I'll be in a similar boat in the not so far away future.

Anyway, we're staying in touch and I feel good about that. We may never have connected in the way that I desired, but we definitely established the foundation for an enduring friendship and that's got value in itself. I wish her the best.

Real World finally turned up. My instincts definitely paid off on this one. She didn't return any texts all week (I sent two) and she didn't show up to class, so I was genuinely becoming concerned. But, at the same time, I felt that she probably was doing it on purpose because: a) she wants sympathy/concern and b) she's mad at me for not "helping her". Turns out, she is ok, she just took off and went to Bath for a couple days. Or, she's there now, at the least. My gut also says that she's likely to pull out of the MA program before she's done. She isn't doing well in class, she did not attend or even talk to the professor of either class that she missed on Thursday, and she clearly doesn't give a damn about her academic life at this point. We shall see. Bottom line, as the Tease said, "you never know what a crazy person is thinking, so watch out."

I finally met the Roving Alcoholic's girl last night. They've been dating for a month but aren't a couple yet. She's really quite nice and cute too. I don't know if they're going to be a couple or not, but he's over the moon about her and I can see why. She would be good for him, so I'm hopeful that they at least give it a go. Plus, she has lots of cute English nurse friends who are single, or so I'm told.

As I mentioned previously, I'm reading this book in my leisure called "The End of Poverty" by Jeffrey Sachs. It's a really interesting book. The book is basically a blueprint for ending global poverty by 2025. I haven't gotten to the heart of the argument yet, but I can see that he's making a very persuasive case. Even the foreword by Bono was good.

I'm meeting Smooth Like Butta' for a couple pints in a bit, but after that I'm coming back home to do schoolwork and take it easy. I'm not so interested in going out this weekend at all. Instead, I want to spend my time working on two papers I need to write and making up some of the reading. I'm behind a bit, and even though I'm still kicking ass and taking names, I have not been able to engage school the way I prefer. So this is my weekend to catch up. Plus, it looks to be a gorgeous weekend meaning that I can do some of my reading outdoors in the wan English sunlight that people here actually think will get you tan but never will.

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