Reclaiming the Mic

Yesterday's post was needlessly cynical and smacks of a desperation that is just not true to who I am. Yes, I am disappointed. But more so I am frustrated. That will not get the best of me, however, because I truly am optimistic in spirit and frankly, all I gotta do is listen to a little hip hop and right myself. In that vein, a little Aaliyah comes to mind:

"If at first you don't succeed, Then dust yourself off and try again..."

I received a good bit of feedback from around the world yesterday. Here is a smattering:

From a married couple reading this blog: “You know X and I did that at least once each to each other. Remember, X said he looked at me as a sister.....”

From Smooth Like Butta’: “She was probably having a dumbass guilty conscience, dude…take no notice of those words. They are a temporary state of mind. Persist.”

From DBR: “You know...I think the fact that she has THOUGHT about being with you is a very good sign.”

From DD: “You have to believe in yourself, you have to know that you are a good catch. Don't obsess, but don't give up.”

I posted yesterday because this forum has evolved from a simple "travelogue" into a more comprehensive narration of my life, my thoughts, and my emotions. To not post what I was thinking/feeling at that moment, would have been to stray from the path that I've established. That being said, I don't really have much more to say about this whole incident right now. In fact, I think I've already made more out of it than I should.

And just in case anyone thinks my confidence is shaken, it isn't. Maybe for one day, one moment. But I know who I am, I know where I'm going, and I know what I want. To expect that there wouldn't be difficulties along the way is to wander through life with rose colored glasses. I'm too much of a realist to fail to see that.

Mostly, I'm just exhausted and still sick (and I blame the Real Deal for that, thank you very much). I probably slept about half the day away yesterday and this morning too. Consequently, I didn't really study much for my IPE final, not that I could concentrate much. This illness is sapping my energy like nothing else. Bizarrely, my only real symptoms are that of a cold. I took some good drugs though, and that at least helped. At any rate, I still aced the final. Now all I have left is to finish this damnable paper and then I can really rest.

Real World does have blue hair and I do have a picture, but it's not what I expected. Instead, it's more black/brown with a blue tinge. It came out great on the pic though, so I'll get that up when I get a chance.

The weather has turned cold as the darkest pits of the 7th circle of Hell, reminding me once again how much I hate cold weather. Instead of going outside, I'd rather cozy up in front of a roaring fire and stay warm. Sadly, I have no fireplace, I have no fire, and I do have to go out into the world even if it is cold. Fortunately, I have a warm coat, a nice scarf, and a decent pair of gloves to go with fast moving feet.