Racism or Nationalism – I report, You decide (ala Fox News)

There’s been much consternation in the EU about nationalism, ethnicity, and racism – for good reason too. Europeans like to be snooty with their “advanced” morals, but when it comes down to it, they’re just as judgmental of other cultures as everyone else in the world. Which is really what racism is – being judgmental of another culture. The French are especially absurd in this regard as they look down their long noses at the world with disgust – it’s actually a serious problem because the French are facing a birth dearth and will either have to start procreating or importing labor from abroad – something they don’t want to do because that would degrade the “purity” of French culture (whatever the hell that is).

Anyway, what started this thought process was that I was at Uni pub after class last night and a brief conversation highlighted this point. Before I talk about that, however, it’s necessary that everyone understands exactly what Uni pub is all about. Basically, three types of people go to Uni pub. People like me go because the beer is dirt cheap and it’s convenient (class is literally above the pub). Alternatively, some people go because they live on campus and would rather hang out in a university environment than experience the broader British world (aka lame asses). These types can be quite frequently seen playing pool (as in every single day if you were to go every single day) and make up the “regulars” at Uni pub. It doesn’t matter when you go. You’ll always see Big Tex and the Angry German, not to mention a few others (mostly Americans).

Then there's the third type. These types go to Uni pub, and the reason I’m writing about it, because they're ho’s. Now, just so everyone understands, “ho” doesn’t mean male or female. The state of ho-ness is not gender specific. For example, my Columbian friend shall now be known as Smooth Like Butta’ (it was either that or “Sexual Predator”) because he’s a ho. That being said, most of the ho’s that hang out at Uni pub are women. You get that many ho’s together and holarity ensues. In fact, if you watched closely enough, you could see “ho rotation”, which of course describes how the ho’s essentially just go from man to man over the course of a couple months until they’ve literally been with every guy in the place (narrator excluded – I ain’t a ho).

Back to the story, my friend Dave, who shall now be known as Eurotrash because he so desperately wishes he was European, is dating a lovely girl from Bulgaria. She likes to think she’s from Belgium, and she does have duel citizenship, but she looks Bulgarian, she grew up in Bulgaria, and she doesn’t live in Belgium, so to me, she ain’t Belgian. Of course, her identity issues are a simple snapshot of Europe as a whole. It’s not respectable to be Bulgarian, but it is respectable to be from Belgium, thusly when she realized this, she changed identity. Europe is rife with social stratification and status issues, more so than the US in my opinion.

Anyway, Eurotrash’s girlfriend (the Immature Sophisticate) commented about one particular ho that frequently ho’s it up at Uni pub. She’s a Russian girl who pretty much has the ho uniform, attitude (ho-titude), and makeup to boot. There’s no questioning that she’s a ho. From the first time I saw her in September I said to myself, “Now there’s a class A ho.” HOWEVER, the Immature Sophisticate, upon seeing the Russian girl and pointing her out said something like, “All Russian girls are sluts.” Now, I know another Russian girl and she’s definitely not a slut, not that you need that example to disprove such a statement.

The point is, that’s Europe. Sure, they like to pretend that they’re into equality and universal human rights, and to some extent they are. But just when you think that these Europeans have a corner on the market when it comes to international human rights or respecting others, you always hear something like this. They talk out of both sides of their mouths, as we Americans like to say.

This is not to castigate all Europeans. But just as Europeans like to bash Americans because we can’t pull our collective heads out of our collective asses and figure out that it’s actually NOT a good idea to re-elect a president that lies to the public, justified torture on his watch, and pretty much gave the finger to the world, Americans like to bash Europeans because they’re wildly hypocritical and they too have their collective heads shoved so far up their collective asses that they can’t see just how silly some of their initiatives truly are (don’t get me started on the International Criminal Court). The French are especially bad in this regard, as those of you who read about their headscarf ban in schools surely know (a law that targeted Sihks and Muslims and a few Jews that had to remove their Yamikas).

At any rate, the long winded point of this particular diatribe is that some people go to Europe and are so wowed by it that they wish they were European, they want to stay forever, and they think that Europeans can do no wrong. I am not that type of person. To me, that speaks of vast immaturity and that’s not the way I choose to look at the world. Instead, I see a morass of culture and contradiction, much like what exists in the US. Europe is a wonderful place; you can have a lot of fun, experience an amazing array of culture, and never want to leave because you enjoy it so much. But I am not deceived in thinking that Europe is better than the US. It’s not. It’s just different. It has the same problems that the US has (some are even worse), it has a brutally disgusting legacy, and a clearly uncertain future.

Now I'm off to work at a job I'm growing to hate. But that's a story for another day...