Because I'm really bored...News highlights for all to enjoy

I'm desperate for some Simpsons True Tones for my mobile. 350 episodes and counting!

Why I love Bill Gates: "Asked if their friendship would entice him to buy one of Microsoft rival Apple Computer Inc.'s black-and-red U2 edition iPods, Gates said: "Absolutely not.""

French company builds Super Size plane for fat people. McDonald's not impressed.

When you have a strange itch, it's best to check it out.

Scientists have located 'organic material' on Saturn's moon Titan. Shortly after the discovery, the probe Cassini was swallowed whole as the celestial body is actually a giant Pac Man traversing the universe like episode 177 of the original Star Trek. No word if Cassini caused invicibility or not.

Brits go nuts over most overrated footballer of all time, David Beckham. They've officially created a "Beckham trail" that plots his course as a young boy - where he lived, worked, went to school etc. The "pilgrimage" is reported to be "less than Bethlehem" but better than the "Jack the Ripper walk". Worth clicking just for the pic of Victoria.

Quick, elope with your "ice queen" and marry on a glacier before this 5-minute fad expires! Family not invited.

From the Wall of Shame: Have fight with girlfriend, shoot self in the groin.

And my personal favorite advice of the day: when going in to have your prostrate removed and the doctor explains what removing the testicles will do, best to ask questions before the sleepy
gas.