From the Hall of the Very Disgusting

Wilmington television station WWAY reported that Stowers found the finger in frozen custard he purchased Sunday night.

Stowers, who did not immediately return calls Monday from The Associated Press, told the station: "I thought it was candy because they put candy in your ice cream ... to make it a treat. So I said, 'OK, well, I'll just put it in my mouth and get the ice cream off of it and see what it is.'"
Stowers said he spit the object out, but still couldn't identify it. So he went to his kitchen, rinsed it off with water -- and "just started screaming."

I have nothing else to add today.

Ok, that's not entirely true. Any story with the following quotes must be read:

"St. Bernard (dogs) are my favorite customers since they poop in large piles which are easy to find," Relles said.

"It sure beats computer programming because it's flexible, and I get to be outside," he said.

At least we know what to do with all those outsourced workers...

Modernity gone awry:

"It's a little too much for me to handle," said Steve Hepburn, of Clearfield. "It's like trying to eat half a cow."

India would be scandalized. Which reminds me, last week my prof made a joke about India not accepting beef imports that NO ONE in the class but me got. What the hell? As Riply famously quipped in Aliens, "have IQs suddenly dropped while I was away?"

Gotta love the Scots:

"One wee girl running down the wing was even called something by a woman in the crowd."

Honey, there's a new addition to the family. Say hello to Alex, the Zonkey.

And finally, the surest sign yet that the apocalypse is just around the corner.

(And yes, this is me being too lazy to actually put a real post in for the day.)