Hitchhike this

So I went and watched Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy last night. Eurotrash was pushing me to go and even though I was tired, I wanted to see it so I agreed. I have to say, the movie was one of the oddest I've ever seen. I'm not sure if I liked it; I'm not even sure how to classify it.

If it was trying to be a serious sci-fi movie, then it completely failed. But if it was trying to be a comedy, then it failed there too. So I can only imagine it was a hybrid - it wanted to woo you with some effects, hook you with some jokes, and have you not worry about the inanity of it all (probably like the book). But, it came off as a poor attempt at Monty Python style humor - or a really poor Adventures of Baron Munchausen. It's difficult to say I was disappointed. Because I don't know what I expected so it's hard to be disappointed. But I definitely would not recommend seeing it in the theater - only on TV when you have the time.

Anyway, something in the movie touched on a theme that I've been eager to rant about for awhile, so here goes. If you listen to Hollywood, the only way to find true love is to either A) Rape someone ('Don't Speak' - good, but disturbing), B) pay a 'love consultant' thousands to carefully plot out your love connection ('Hitch' - funny, but absurd and just misses badly on several key elements), or be one of the last two humans left alive in the universe because the Earth is blown to bits and she pretty much has no other choice ('Hitchhiker's' - see above). Not only that, if you do happen to fall into true love, when you meet the parents of your bride to be, you'll be spied on and given the fourth degree to the point that you won't even want to get married anymore unless some crazy turn of events happens that ends up with you getting arrested at the airport and your soon to be father in law is an ex-spy who can spring you ('Meet the Parents' - funny but SO f*cking stupid as all his movies are). And don't even get me started on 'Meet the Fockers'.

Here's my point: if love was truly that hard, then the planet would be extinct or we'd just revert to cave man times when you just walked in, pointed at a woman, said, "ughhe", put her over your shoulder as she kicked and screamed, and then forcibly mated with her. The older I get, the more I think about it, the more I conclude that the people who write movie scripts must be some of the least well adjusted people of all time. Whatever happened to boy meets girl?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking for a positive message all the time. Of the movies I listed above, 'Don't Speak' was my favorite and it involves a guy falling in love with the woman he rapes. Gotta see it to be it. But is it too much to ask that every now and then, perhaps Hollywood could be grounded in reality? I mean, seriously, think about the string of Julia Roberts-Hugh Grant movies - two people whose careers seem to revolve around Hollywood's distorted notion of "love". It's enough to make one nauseous.

Maybe I'm just disenchanted because there's little magic going on in my life or maybe I'm just fed up with the idea that love could be that hard. I mean, really, if it was that hard, we wouldn't do it. It's hard enough on it's own merits, we don't need to make it any more difficult by including things like exploding planets and ice queens that can only be accessed by absurd expenditures of money to crack their frozen exterior in a grand gamble that there's a heart of gold inside. What exactly did Hitch see in that woman anyway? She was a tabloid reporter who pretty much spent her time ruining the lives of rich and famous people, happened to be hot, but also spurned every man she met. In marches Hitch, the player's playa' and he's smitten by that? Maybe for one night, but certainly not for longer. It belies credibility to think that he would have wanted something more with that particular woman. Egads, I'm ranting about something that most people have probably not seen.

Here's my point: Everybody wants to be in love, have magic in their lives, have someone special. It's part of the unique human experience that separates us from the marmits and three-toed sloths. But our culture is SO dominated with this theme, that there is societal pressure to find that ASAP, which is ultimately the wrong message. Love happens when you least expect it, they say, and perhaps that's how it should be. In the end, I'm pretty happy right now being on my own. And while I do want that special connection again someday, now is not the time. Yet, I'm a pariah in our culture. There's no space for someone like me. It's not ok to be single because single means 'alone' and alone means 'lonely'.

Bollocks. I'm living my life on my terms. I live in London, one of the greatest cities in the world. I'm pursuing my career and excelling. When I'm ready and when I meet the right sort of person, I'll be willing to give myself to her. But I ain't just about to give it all away that easily. The bar is set too high for that.